As I was chatting about the reality of living with one's adult children, I mentioned things can be 98 per cent good but sometimes that two per cent feels bigger than it is in reality.
Isn't that the way it is with life?
I have had some frustrating days within my home daycare. They are often fueled by the fact that I am tired or distracted. When I don’t roll with the punches the way I am capable of doing, I find the kids reflect my mood. All things tolled, they aren’t any awful days. But at the end of them, that two per cent is all that I feel.
I have come to a happy realization that my return to the daycare world is exactly where I am meant to be right now. The families who have come to me are wonderful. In reality, I need one or two more children to make this financially feasible, but the dynamics between the children I have are 98 per cent good. To add one more unknown to this formula could tip the balance. I like where things are at.
I believe we will focus on what we have and add more to the mix when my two-year-olds are a little older.
The flip side to this contentment is reality. My daycare income alone does not quite pay the bills. So my extra income sources are a necessity. I cannot afford to say "'no" to any opportunity right now. Each and every one of my extra jobs is 98 per cent good. The two per cent is the sacrifice I must make to fit all of this into a seven-day-week.
I like what I am doing. I am content with my life. As long as I keep my sights set on shorter (under five years) term goals, I know I have steered my life in the direction I want to go. When I look long term, it becomes just a tad frightening.
I am 98 per cent certain it will all work out in the wash. It always does. Keep my eye on the prize and I will go where I am meant to go. It is that two per cent of fearfulness that niggles away at my sense of security, that feels bigger than it is at times.
My home life is pretty good right now. Our house is full. Three adults, a fifteen-year-old, two dogs and two cats take up a lot of space in a home and in a life. There is such a sense of harmony within all of the creatures within this 1,000-square-foot home. How did I manage to get so lucky?
It is good 98 per cent of the time. That nasty two per cent rears its head from time to time and seeps into the contentment within these walls.
I have strong and supportive relationships within my friends and family. I am 100 per cent happy with the people I have in my life. Do I miss the idea of a forever-partner-in-life? Possibly .5 per cent of the time. For 99.5 per cent of the time, I know my life is complete, rewarding and fulfilling just the way it is.
To bring a partnership of "forever-ness" into the mix would be beyond challenging. Compromise, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse — those are big promises. Life is safe and easy this way. It is just that .5 per cent of the time, it seems like it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand as I walk through this life.
Ninety-eight per cent is a pretty good overall average. I'll take it. I will savour it and be grateful for it. Life isn't perfect and it wouldn't be good for us if it was. We need those contrasts in life to fully appreciate what we already have.
