Ed, my neighbor next door, has the blunt habit of saying exactly what is on his mind. Like a persistent mosquito, he is relentless in volunteering his opinions about what I'm doing or not doing.
Presently, Ed has decided I'm working too much in Yorkton. Ed demands, "How many days a week are you working? Why did you retire to then turn around and work most days? What are you doing with all your money?"
I have developed the same answer for each question - "Does it really matter to you, Ed?"
"Of course not," replies Ed. "I don't care what you do, even if it doesn't make a lick of sense to anybody but you," adds Ed.
Living up to the expectations of others is like swimming the Pacific Ocean in an hour. It cannot be done. Often, we may not even be aware of what others are expecting of us. On the other hand, no one has to be a mind reader with my neighbour. There is no need to guess what is on his mind. Ed will tell you. It is clear Ed expects me not to have a job because I'm retired. I also know if I did not work, Ed would have other concerns I could never meet. I have told Ed to think of me as one of many retired folks who do work. Ed asserts that I'm one of a few who do not know any better than to be working. It isn't only Ed that has told me I should know better.
My wife is convinced I should know better than to fall asleep in church. She is always on the alert when I'm driving and now she has also needed to be vigilant that I don't fall asleep and start snoring in church. She feels everyone would agree with her that a retired pastor should know better than to fall asleep in church. I know many expect those who are in church to always be awake and alert. Try as I may, I do sometimes nod off in church, as inexcusable as it may be.
Many of the religious leaders at the time of Jesus opposed him because they felt he should have known better. As a rabbi, he should have known better than to heal the sick on the Sabbath. He should have known better than to eat with sinners. He should have known better than to say, "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise him up at the last day." Since Jesus did not live up to their expectations, the religious leaders developed great antagonism toward him. They came to hate Jesus and view not only his behaviour but his very person as inexcusable. They had Jesus put to death.
We all have personal standards that we expect other people to meet. Invariably, other people will not live up to our expectations. Others should know not to speed, drive drunk, leave the toilet seat up, show up for work late, chew food with their mouth open and countless other things. When people fail to act as we feel they should, we can get antagonistic toward them. We can grow to dislike them or hate them or we can accept them in love in spite of their failure to meet our expectations.
That is what Jesus taught us with his life among us: It is not what we expect of others that matters, but rather that others can expect our love and respect, no matter how they fail to meet our expectations.
