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Thoughts from the Barnyard: If I could go back to high school…

Not everyone enjoys going back to school, especially those who struggle daily.
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Many students are looking forward to starting a new school year, however there are some who are dreading the hallway walks…and talks.

In only a few short weeks, many students will be heading back into the classrooms for another year of learning. There will be many familiar faces in the halls with a few new ones belonging to other students and even staff. Moms and dads will be taking ‘First Day of School’ photos to remember the joyous occasion and there will be a whole new graduating class praying they pass enough to cross the stage in June.

As much as I can say I had a great childhood growing up, I struggled in high school. I was somehow singled out by some of the boys in my grade, who used to pick on and bully me. I can remember walking down the hallways of the Unity Composite High School with two classmates making beeping sounds behind me, suggesting that I was a wide load coming through. I struggled in Grade 7, having no friends, eating my lunch in the girls’ bathroom and trying to get through the day without being laughed at or mocked.

I eventually joined the Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD) group. I was still timid in those early years, as there were more boisterous and older individuals who ran the meetings and organized events throughout the school year. I attended the national Canadian Youth Against Impaired Driving (CYAID) conference that year in Edmonton, Alta., where the energy was unlike anything else I had seen.

I continued to join the club each year and was even president when I was in Grade 12. I joined the SADD Saskatchewan board, which would meet a few times a year in Regina. It was here where I met some peers who had similar interests to me. We would get together to hang out while we were all in the same city, often for a quick bite to eat or play games at Rucker’s. When we were all back at home, we stayed in touch using the internet and MSN Messenger. I finally had friends who liked me for me and without knowing it, eventually became lifelong friends.

As I became more involved with SADD Saskatchewan, I had more opportunities to be myself. In 2002, Saskatchewan hosted the national CYAID conference in Regina, where I was chosen to be a member of Team CYAID. Team members helped keep the conference going, pump up students from across the country and introduce keynote speakers. This role, combined with my public speaking skills from 4-H, was an outlet for me. It was like I was a totally different person from the hallways in high school.

I know high school is hard. I have seen it already with my own children, the relentlessness of some of their peers. I know the pain of those who are teased and bullied. It seems like one minute a classmate is asking for help in class, only to be ridiculed online later. Although technology is wonderful in other ways, it has opened the doors for cyber-bullying and for hallway tauntings to enter the safe space of home.

I know I cannot go back into my past to reassure myself that it does get better. I wish I had stood up for myself more than I did, or even had someone else stop the bullying. I felt alone and had no one to talk to. There was no school counsellor for me to talk to. I wish I had the resources there are today to help me through those tough times.

To those students who are potentially reading this, stick with it. Find a club or activity that you enjoy or have an interest in. Do not be afraid to expand to other communities to find like-minded people, as they could be your future lifelong friends. These kids you are in school with are not your forever, just your right now. From one picked-on kid to another, stay strong, don’t be afraid to talk to someone and I promise you, life does get better.

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