STOUGHTON - Cheryl Lake always thought she was going to grow old with her husband Jonathon, who she had been married to for 25 years, but this changed after a doctor's appointment when their world was turned upside down.
Her story is one of strength, resilience and the enduring power of family.
On Sept. 19, 2023, Jonathon Lake died from cancer, leaving Cheryl and their three children, Cheyenne, William and MacyLynn, to navigate life without him.
Jonathon had metastatic adenocarcinoma, which starts in one point of the body and metastasizes to another. His started in the colon, and travelled to the lungs, and from there it reached his trachea. Jonathon did not want to go to the hospital but the tumour in his trachea had grown rapidly and his breathing was laboured.
The couple went to Regina, where a team of doctors tried to do a scoop, but the tumour was too enlarged. While waiting for a team of surgeons, Jonathon passed away, leaving Lake as a widow and a single mother.
Her past year has been a hurricane of emotions, and her journey has been heart-wrenching, but she has tried to pull her life together and move on.
The past year has been a challenging mix of grief, healing, and adjusting to new realities, as now Lake needs to be the anchor and provider, juggling the emotional needs of her children and processing her own feelings.
“It is hard to explain the emotions a person goes through,” said Lake. “One minute I can be happy and the next in tears.”
“The last couple of months Jonathon was pushing me away,” she said. “It was like he was preparing me for the role of a single parent.”
A song or a smell can set her off into a flood of tears, and she struggles with juggling all the things that she needs to do.
A year prior to Jonathon’s death, his father passed away. Barely healed from the loss of her father-in-law, Lake had to deal with the estate of both her family members.
Her parents and siblings do not live close by but have helped as much as possible.
Before Jonathon passed away, Guy Russell had told the couple that he was there to help in any way, and he assured Jonathon that he would help.
Russell knows what it is like to lose a loved one, when his wife suddenly passed away from a heart attack at the age of 43. His mother had also died from cancer, so he could relate to Lake.
He has been there for Lake through all the tears and terrible times since Jonathon died.
Lake said no matter what, her kids come first and they needed to get back into school. “It was hard as now I was alone, when I was so busy taking Jonathon for his chemo every other week.”
“My kids really do not say anything about their loss, and I tell them, I can not help them if I do not know what they are feeling,” said Lake. “It has been such a huge adjustment, and one just hopes that we are doing it right.”
Lake said it is important to find the right help, for the kids and for herself, whether that be through counselling or with friends and family. It is a difficult path to walk.
“Jonathon would not want me to stop living,” she said. “He would want me to find happiness again.”
Lake feels that people assume that she has forgotten Jonathon because she has found happiness with Russell, but she said, not a day goes by that she does not think of him.
“I can be myself with Russell; he understands when I am thinking about Jonathon,” she said. “Life is short, and we can not stop living, so take the road of love.”
Almost one year has passed and Lake is starting to get into the swing of life the way it will be now. She works full time and is one of the Stoughton Girl Guide leaders. Her kids are enrolled in many after-school activities.
“My kids will always be first, but I also need to find happiness in my life,” Lake said.
She will cherish her memories of her life with Jonathon, as it is these memories and love that have made her the person she is today, and these memories will always be remembered and kept close to her heart.
As Lake reflects on the past year, she looks forward with a sense of hope.
“Grief never really goes away, it dulls, but you learn to carry it with you and still find joy in life,” she said.
“Jonathon would want us to keep living, to find happiness in the small things, and that is what we are trying to do every day,” she said.
Life will never be the same, but they are trying to find the new normal in their lives.
