Submitted by The Yorkton and Area Partnership against Violence Committee
A 10 year old girl becomes withdrawn and isolated. A 12 year old boy begins lashing out at home. Another child is home sick with a stomach ache on a regular basis. The straight "A" student's grades start dropping. A 14 year old girl begins to cut herself. An 11 year old loads his backpack with stones and leaps into a river.
These behaviors are consistent with bullying.
Bullying is perhaps the saddest experience for any child. Sad not only for the victim, but also for the parents of the child. It is a very frustrating circumstance for schools and families to deal with.
The definition of Bullying:
Bullying is any hurtful, negative behavior that is done deliberately and is repeated.
Negative behaviors between children under the age of twelve that is reflective of harassment, intimidation, and discrimination.
Imbalance of power so victim can't defend him/herself.
Bullying is cruel.
Bullying over the age of twelve is considered a criminal offence.
Schools are the primary environment for bullies. It may spill over into the neighborhood and community, but the foremost opportunity for this interaction is plentiful in the school setting. If the situation is not dealt with the situation worsens and sickens the healthy climate that schools and communities are there to create for their children.
Parents and educators need to listen to the stories and reports of children involved in bullying situations.
Who bullies?
Not just school children bully others. Certainly, for the most part, the bully will be a peer who is usually older, bigger and stronger. However, it may also be a peer who is more socially dominant.
Adults also will bully children. Some uncaring adults repeatedly will use hurtful comments and putdowns. Sadly, society has not matured out of the physical and emotional abuse that is present in some households.
Why do people bully?
A person who bullies is exercising power to hurt another person through physical, verbal or social abuse. Many bullies have been or are being bullied themselves. By hurting and dominating others, they fulfill their need to fight back and to be in the power position. Children, who are hurting emotionally or physically, generally have the urge to hurt others. Usually the bully is someone who lacks positive self esteem and confidence.
Who is the victim?
People who are targeted by bullying are individuals who are mistreated over and over again by people who want to hurt them.
In most cases the victim is a person who is smaller, younger and displays a lack of confidence and assertiveness.
Large or small children who appear lacking confidence and self esteem are the usual targets for the social predator. Students who are new to a school or neighborhood can become prone to being victimized. Physical or cultural differences increase the incidence of being hurt. Children who are clumsy or have physical abnormalities (even glasses or braces) are more likely to experience the harassment of others. Skin color or religion, a child with a different intellect, slow learner, gifted learner, all are quite often targets of bullies.
Who is the bystander?
People, who are bystanders, are those who stand nearby and provide an audience for the bullying behavior. Accomplices are those who support or join in with the bullying. Interveners are those who come in to help solve the problem. The bystander plays an important role in whether the bullying continues or helps support a solution to stop the bullying.
Effects of bullying
Time does not heal the wounds that are inflicted by the act of bullying. The stress may lessen in time. A scar may form over the hurt, but the impact of being bullied, and of being a bully, has been shown to stay with the individuals.
The victim of prolonged bullying continues to have related trouble as he or she grows up. Victims are less trusting and have difficulty sustaining positive relationships.
If the bully continues with negative behaviors, the violence increases. There is also a high connection between bullying and criminal activity in the future.
What can you do about it?
If you suspect a child is being bullied, ask him or her directly. If the answer is yes, take action right away.
Communicate and offer comfort
Work with the school
Make arrangements for safety
Help develop confidence
Practice effective responses
Build self esteem
Children being bullied need and deserve adult intervention and help
Bullying is too serious for them to solve alone
Without intervention, the problem will not go away
Bullies will keep bullying unless adults do something about it.
Enlisting the help of a trusted adult is one of the best ways to put a stop to the bullying.
NOBODY DESERVES TO BE BULLIED!
For more information on how to stop bullying contact: Melinda Davis, Shelwin House Outreach Worker at 782-5181 or via email: [email protected] or Tami Parkinson, Family Support Program at 782-1209 or [email protected].
